Alice Harry blogs about the pros and cons of homes old and new at Liverpool Vs. London. She is a literature student, coffee & cake enthusiast and dearly cherished co-misanthrope. This is a version of a post that appeared on her blog, kindly customised for the benefit of the grump.
Today, I spent 20 minutes walking to Uni and 20 minutes walking back. In those 40 minutes I encountered 6 cases of what I like to call ‘anti-flattery’. Every girl or woman has encountered some form of anti-flattery in their lifetime; be it the 13-year-old boy that shouts ‘giz ya number’ from his BMX or the 80 year drunk old man that slurs his words and grunts at you at the bus stop. Anti-flattery comes in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes anti-flattery is odd and sort of amusing; ‘Hey there space babe’ (Star Trek enthusiast perhaps?) Sometimes it can be infuriating; a crude shout from across the street. Other times it’s embarrassing; having a lorry beep at you. They drive off and you’re left standing on the street feeling as though all eyes are scrutinising you and your short shorts. More often than not though, I find it dull, tiring and disappointing.
This kind of behaviour is not complimentary and said because you are attractive or appear genuinely interesting. In fact, it is the complete opposite because this kind of behaviour neglects any form of humanity or human bond that you or they have. It is dull because it is said devoid of emotion and tiring because believe it or not… I’ve heard it all before. To be treated as ‘thing’ is not inspiring, it does not give me a spring in my step for the rest of the day. It is disappointing because these silly comments made by ignorant people can infuriate me for at least the rest of my journey home. It is disappointing that people are still treated and made to feel like objects. Mostly though, it is disappointing that I allow myself for a fraction of a minute to hate half the population of the world. For a moment, I am lowered to the same kind of ignorance, neglecting the individual being, I paint ‘male’ as pathetic and sexist. My pro-equal views are overtaken by anger and defiance and for a second I have been forced into the stereotypical man-hating feminist.
Whilst other forms of bigotry are considered serious offences, sexism is just a part of daily life. Imagine if car horns were beeped at black people, simply because they were black. It is just unfathomable. Yet to have these things happen to you as a woman is almost ‘normal’, it’s accepted as a part of culture. It’s what men do, apparently.
I don’t have any real words of wisdom to offer, I myself never know how to react in regards to this behaviour. Should I shout back? Put them down? Stand up for myself? Will any of those make a difference or will I be laughed at and called an angry feminist? Afterwards, I often wish I’d had something witty to say back but this is the reality of sexism and perhaps the reason it is so accepted, it isn’t challenged.
It is such a shame for women and perhaps even more so for men that such sexism still exists. As I said earlier, it is often hard to remind yourself that one ignorant person does not stand for the whole sex. Sexism doesn’t only limit women being considered equal, but men too. It perpetuates the stereotype that men are by nature misogynistic. So, space babes and dudes, it’s time to stop.